Oh my God! THE AV CLUB HAS DISBANDED!

BRING BACK CHEAP TOY ROUNDUP!

I could really use some of that sweet Laurel Canyon sound to perk up my mood this afternoon.

“I already seen the airport” is my favorite line in Speed.

“HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL…

If Will Ferrell can fake host the Rose Parade then he can real-host Jeopardy for a few weeks in character. Preferably with Norm MacDonald and Darrell Hammond video Daily Doubles included.

Say what you will about the others, this one is solid gold:

*King Leer

I refuse to believe the Japanese will ever surpass the quality or ingenuity of American electronics. Besides, I’m perfectly satisfied with my Philco super-heterodyne combination radio and phonograph player.

I’m very sorry for joking about a pyramid’s spiritual emptiness. I hereby retract this article.

Critics aren’t voters for Academy Awards.

Have they considered recasting the role with a big teakettle?

HEY TWITTER! TWEET THIS!

I’m not going to deny after about an hour of this I’d be eyeing the emergency exit lever. Especially if I found myself seated between Richie and Cynthia. But it is nice to hear that there are airlines out there at least making an effort - albeit misguided - to treat flyers as guests.

Ok, ok. We get it. You’re still into a thing that should’ve been over by the late 90's, you feel the FBI is out to get you & your leaders, and you’re probably sticky to the touch. But why did you have to schedule your rally the same weekend as the Juggalos?

So you’re saying Drafthouse CEO Tim League had heart, but Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri had a football in the groin?

Nobody has all the answers. Nobody ever will have all the answers. Never, ever trust anyone who says they have all the answers.

A movie about a black Klansman? OK, now Peele is just trolling Dave Chappelle.

IRMER GERD