An entire season summed up in one play!

Miami Dolphin Jay Cutler: “Ahem...”

So basically:

This sounds like a really awesome idea for dystopian sci-fi about how and why AI destroyed the human race once and for all.

AI has already replied.

I am offended by that insinuation!

Were you high when you watched it? Because this column feels like the result of having watched it high.

Truly, an Academy Award nomination to the director who chose the lyric “self-righteous hypocrites” as the moment to linger on DeVos & Co

I loved the Reba & Cher tributes so much, also Jon Batiste playing the Philip Glass composition on piano. And Hamilton!!

Good god that shit hooks right into my tween lizard brain. LOOK AT REBA LOOK AT HOW HAPPY REBA IS

I’ll always remember exactly where I was when I learned of the tragic cancellation of the First Responder Bowl, which was this article, which was also the place where I first learned of the tragic existence of the First Responder Bowl.

You gotta feel for these kids. At the beginning of the year, nobody thought Boise State could win, let alone compete in, the Servpro First Responder Bowl. Unfortunately they won’t have a chance to prove them wrong. Hate to see that. 

I went down a weird internet worm hole today trying to determine what “Bad Boy Mowers” is and why they sponsor the Gasparilla Bowl. It ended with my boss telling me to get back to work, but I learned: that I should “mow with attitude”; an orange walk-behind mower costs over $1k; they make culvert cleaners; I can buy…

This puts a lot of pressure on tonight’s Cheez-It Bowl to really deliver the goods

That guy is 1 million times better at Twitter than Rovel. 

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman gets Kenny to put a picture of his ass as his school picture, and gets it put on a milk carton, and those folks with butts for their faces show up at his door looking for their missing son, and he blows a funny fuse because he’ll never see anything that hilarious ever…

Y’all, keep in mind that the check was $1,000 for THREE WEEKS of pay. A nigga can’t even make over $300 a week without raising suspicion. 

Holy shit, if you can’t trust football coaches & Catholic priests these days who can you trust?

How many times did Marmalard say the word “heck” in those post game interviews?? I even heard him say a “shoot” and “knucklehead” - he’s really living on the edge tonight!

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!