What if Peter King, David Brooks and Thomas Friedman traveled to and fro throughout America in a mustard yellow 1987 Volvo power wagon solving mysteries together?

I love how white men that claim to live in fear of ‘government tyranny’ and believe that it is righteous to rebel against it are the first ones to insist that all black people should strictly obey every police officer like a submissive dog.

You know what keeps our fountains running? Tears.

I cried when the Chiefs lost to the Broncos in the playoffs in 98.

I was put on hormonal birth control when I was ten to try to control my periods, which were occurring twice a month. Not so out of the realm of possibilities.

I’m teaching analysis in my course right now, and how to look for an author’s assumptions.

But the important thing is that at the end of the film, Sandra Bullock was not only able to come to terms with her struggles with substance abuse, she was able to overcome them.

I guess you can say... [Puts on sunglasses]... cooler heads prevailed.

Yes.

Do not question The Yost. He is a wizard, and if angered will smite you.

Can you spare Kansas City, or at least save the barbecue?

It’s a sad but true fact that when Scott Walker massively reduced funding to the University of Wisconsin system, one of the first things to be cut from the budget was the Female orgasm.

Coug’d it.

Now that I see it in action, I’m on board with Trump building a wall to separate the rest of us from the Browns.

“Everybody’s taking our jobs!”

We can ship them out on planes, great planes, huge planes, I have lots of planes and I know what to get. The plane guys, they respect me. I can work with them. Right now, we don’t have that.

Notice how the people who want the biggest, baddest military and advocate invading other countries never serve in the military themselves?

I have a friend who had one, as I did, and she was always kind of afraid to discuss it. I told her I understood it’s not something to run around the office talking about, but never feel bad that you had a tiny bit of cells scraped from your uterus when you were 6 weeks pregnant. My generation fought to get that…