Funny. “Radical tantrum” is exactly how I'd describe Trump's actions right now, yet

I know this does very little in the grand scheme of things, but I wear a mask to take my dog out to shit in the morning when there’s no one else around and have no problem with telling people they’re being foolish if I see them low-nosing.

But enough about the 2016 election

Hey we went to the same uni! But I went to the college of SVU, so all I know is creative rapes and murders

There are literally shower heads designed to create water pressure while saving water. They’re fantastic, and cost like $10. I know Trump's in debt but surely he could manage that?

I turn off my camera to shift positions. Don't want to distract anyone with my motions. How the fuck does beating it in front of a camera just happen??

That's, like, not even a good quip. But I can totally imagine him truingto shove this into a conversation

Don’t worry - I’m 32 and stopped mid sentence last night in asking a favor of my wife because I forgot the word ‘tongs’. I eventually settled on ‘pasta tweezers’ so she didn't think I was having a stroke

I mean, I can make a baller omellete if you want one.

Wait did something other than FFXIV patch 5.4 drop this week?

I don't know a single criminal. How do so many presidents know so many criminals?

There IS a small part of me that hopes Romney and Collins go independent

Hey, Bulleit rye is just fine!

I know this person as the reason I learned how to delete search suggestions on Instagram.

I bought a vial of sativa extract that basically turns anything you put it on into an edible and I wanted to give it a funeral when it ran out on Saturday

This year, our dishes are specifically chosen for the sandwiches the following day.

We rented a cabin in the middle of nowhere for the weekend, just us 4. Bringing groceries and going nowhere other than the deserted trails around the place.

This post is great. It makes my head shudder uncontrollably.

It stinks that the pandemic is so bad, because I REALLY wanna go out and hug some strangers tonight.

I love salads!