Is anybody, ANYWHERE, honestly still surprised? We could honestly take Trump down just by tying his shoelaces together.

That elevator is just a WELFARE QUEEN sucking off the GUBMINT TEAT while HONEST, HARD-WORKING AMERICANS have their wages ROBBED to support a FREELOADER like this.

You’re right, it is science. Research showsanother person thinking about dick while you eat a vaguely phallus-shaped food categorically makes you gay, not them.

...Alabama Republican Chairman Terry Lathan marginally distanced himself from Benson’s comments, calling them “unnecessary” and “divisive” while insisting they “represent his own personal opinion.”

Representative Abigail Spanberger of Virginia swats away the question: “I’m focused on prescription drugs and infrastructure.”

I never wanted Steve Scalise to be shot, but I don’t feel bad about it either. Does this make me a shitty person?

Just a shitty reminder:

Happy Friday everyone, I’ve had enough of this one.

“Perjury trap”

Waited tables back in the day, can confirm. Only difference is, I don’t like people, but I had an almost sociopathic ability to fake it when money was on the line.

I’m not sure, but let’s fell a bunch of influencers just to check.

EarthBound truly makes everything better.

Everything else today is terrible. Except for this, this is perfect.

that only Stephen King likes

What’s that law that says the simplest answer is usually the correct answer? Either way, the answer in this case is easy - racism.

How butt plugs like Whiggly get starred when I’ve been in the greys for years is one of the great mysteries of my life.

Dudes like this pop up in every single article that references any of these gig economy companies. Fuck ‘em.

I feel like this week has lasted YEARS.