When I was a skinny teenage Orca, I used to sneak into the living room late at night and listen to Breezin’ and Weekend in L.A. with the headphones on. I had to do it late at night because we were forbidden to touch my dad’s jazz records or his stereo. Years later, I fessed up, only to be told, “Yeah, I knew all…

Military Training Instructor : AIRMAN ORCA! MY OFFICE! NOW!

“What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?! Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child—BANG

“Bed wench”?

This is probably the only BMW I would ever consider owning. It certainly avoids the “BMW drivers are assholes” meme.

Well, actually...

Ben Carson: I feel more than qualified to run for President of the United States.

Derek Chauvin found guilty on all charges

Aukey electric standing desk

Aukey electric standing desk

Branch Furniture: It might be worth your while to ask if your employer will reimburse you for ergonomic office furniture. For example, my employer offers up to $200 to buy an ergonomic office chair for home use. Even though Branch Furniture wasn’t on the corporate “official” list, a quick phone call with our Workplace…

Branch Furniture: It might be worth your while to ask if your employer will reimburse you for ergonomic office…

DAYUM.

Finally, a story on my home town that doesn’t make me cringe.

Not enough stars for “Spready Kruger”.

AMEN.

The homemade panty liner is actually useful, though.

“States’ rights!” wink wink (/s)

Let’s ask Toni Braxton about that time Babyface screwed her over on her record deal. She was literally making pennies on every dollar in sales.

100%. Ask George Clinton what they tried to do to him. Or John Fogerty--the record company sued him and claimed he PLAGIARIZED FROM HIMSELF.