This is what my mother meant when she used to say, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

+10 for Zippy, who was still a towering genius compared to this walking scrotum.

‘They wanted to make sure the sonofabitch was dead.” —James Cagney, on the enormous funeral turnout for Louis B. Mayer.

Moved here last year from NYC.

As my mother used to say, “Not now, not next week, not next year, nor the hereafter.”

My 12 wides say NoooOOOOoooOOO.

I just got a wide pair of Nikes, but good luck getting custom ones. Nobody—NOBODY—does custom sneakers in wide. Also? Good luck finding wides that aren’t black, grey, white, or blue. I found one pair--ONE PAIR--of red Nikes in my size. New Balance has a better selection, but everybody else is afraid of colors in wide.

Oh, and to the troll in the greys? You are dismissed, so go back to your mom’s basement and stop molesting your dog. Deliverance was a warning, not a user manual.

Back that up with “Law of the Land”:

The best tweet ever:

That John Wick quote is why I keep coming back to The Root. Because damn.

Both Bidens tested negative, according to multiple sources.

My face:

This made me fall right out.

MAKE IT SO

I love, love, love the look...but (and you just knew there was a “but”) I live in Los Angeles. Having a manual can be sheer torture when dealing with the stupid freeways.

I wish I could say this was wrong, but dammit...

I will buy the SHIT out of that. Dolt45 is going to be more triggered than a truckload of malfunctioning AK-47s.