I want to be surprised, you know? I’d like to wake up and say, “Hey, this Trump fellow has certainly become a decent chap!”

Chuck Tingle? Is that you?

And how can I get one?

Drop the H and you’ve got something there.

I had successfully forgotten all about this song, goddammit.

See now, you ain’t right. Take your star, damn you.

Oh, God damn it. Here’s your star.

You magnificent bastard, I want to bear your children. Here’s your goddamned star.

This is a thing of beauty.

Every single word of that is TRUE. I was all like this:

This happened to me the last time I looked for a rental in a nice beach neighborhood.

This is the crack pipe that other crack pipes want to be when they grow up.

even if we HAPPEN to lose against the Yankees this year

Oh, yeah. He holds onto that shit like Gollum and the One Ring.