DAMN. 

“We can’t repel swagga of that magnitude!”

Ford in his flivver, this makes me spit. These goddamn things are everywhere in Florida. I told my co-workers that while I was sure the people who lived there were perfectly nice, I was not ever going to live anywhere called “Plantation”.

While MLB has a standalone app for Roku, the biggest problem I have with the service is the lack of local broadcasts. I live in Los Angeles, so neither the Angels nor the Dodgers are available to me on MLB.TV (although to be fair, almost nobody gets the Dodgers because of their effed-up TV deal). I feel really bad for…

Not even close, my friend. Not even close.

Can confirm. Source: grew up in the suburbs there and worked at a pizza joint while in high school. Ted Drewes frozen custard is the food of the gods.

I was on the fence, especially with the super low mileage, but that front end flipped the switch to strong CP. How much are you going to spend to fix that? I suspect about as much as the car cost you in the first place if you buy it.

I propose “President Racist Theranos”, instead. Theranos was a company that sold fraudulent, bullshit devices, lied to investors and regulators, fostered a cult of personality in which employees were urged to vocally show their loyalty, and viciously attacked anyone who told the truth about them. 

Well played, Anon. Well played.

That mental image I did not need, thank you very much.

Tomorrow’s Leftovers

Oh no you didn’t (but I’m glad you did!)

She went Rey Mysterio on his ass:

Call the police because we just saw the most vicious shank ever committed on television. I mean damn.

Well, at least he owns up to having said it.

Even when he (rarely) goes 0-for-whatever at the plate, he’ll pull off some goddamned amazing jaw-dropper of a catch and then give you that aw-shucks grin. Asshole (says the man with four Trout bobbleheads and two Trout All-Star jerseys).

Hahahahanope

Surely someone named “Christian” shouldn’t steal that much...