See now, you ain’t right. Take your star, damn you.

Oh, God damn it. Here’s your star.

You magnificent bastard, I want to bear your children. Here’s your goddamned star.

This is a thing of beauty.

Every single word of that is TRUE. I was all like this:

This happened to me the last time I looked for a rental in a nice beach neighborhood.

This is the crack pipe that other crack pipes want to be when they grow up.

even if we HAPPEN to lose against the Yankees this year

Oh, yeah. He holds onto that shit like Gollum and the One Ring.

DAMN. 

“We can’t repel swagga of that magnitude!”

Ford in his flivver, this makes me spit. These goddamn things are everywhere in Florida. I told my co-workers that while I was sure the people who lived there were perfectly nice, I was not ever going to live anywhere called “Plantation”.

While MLB has a standalone app for Roku, the biggest problem I have with the service is the lack of local broadcasts. I live in Los Angeles, so neither the Angels nor the Dodgers are available to me on MLB.TV (although to be fair, almost nobody gets the Dodgers because of their effed-up TV deal). I feel really bad for…

Not even close, my friend. Not even close.

Can confirm. Source: grew up in the suburbs there and worked at a pizza joint while in high school. Ted Drewes frozen custard is the food of the gods.

I was on the fence, especially with the super low mileage, but that front end flipped the switch to strong CP. How much are you going to spend to fix that? I suspect about as much as the car cost you in the first place if you buy it.

I propose “President Racist Theranos”, instead. Theranos was a company that sold fraudulent, bullshit devices, lied to investors and regulators, fostered a cult of personality in which employees were urged to vocally show their loyalty, and viciously attacked anyone who told the truth about them. 

Well played, Anon. Well played.