Somewhere there's a hot sports take being written about Mankins' selfishness hurting the team. For some reason "a contract is a contract" only when a player is holding out, not when a team demands you take a pay cut or take a walk.

Schuab looks like he's coming to let you know he did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an 8 year-old.

Ahem.

I've actually thought about that. It's all fucked up usage wise. But I like it anyway. I like that non-fans go to the preview to read another team getting shouted at.

I find American Football utterly boring and uninteresting, but I love reading these write ups that Drew makes. You do a good job at this Drew, you make Football actually sound fun and interesting.

Waiting for mustachioed newcomer Werdna Elddib to take the boat racing scene by storm.

Hey dumdum, read the entire fucking paragraph about Bud.

a tube filled with posters

The fight broke out after a disagreement as to whether "Mexico is the Croatia of North America" or "Croatia is the Mexico of Europe."

You know your argument is valid if the WWE agrees with you, right?

I'm not really sure where I stand on all this, Tim.

See, I was once an influential music critic for a small music blog when I was a student in Ann Arbor, and what I'm sure you don't realize is that it's actually a precision-driven and competitive world, assessing culture and framing people's opinions. I nearly came…

Probably not the only thing that was handled internally that evening.

Grant Balfour has to be the worst possible name a reliever can have in a payoff-pitch situation.

"If your cash game has holes, it's time to plug them."

Hey diddle diddle,
I punched her over spittle.

Pushed to the venue by volunteers? Florence and The Machine have fallen on hard times, it seems.

Fuck ski jumping. Give me tire jumping.

Obligatory.

Nonsense. A coach raping a child in a shower is just a deplorable crime and wake-up call if it's the first time it's discovered and handled appropriately in a timely manner. It's a scandal when leadership fails to live up to its moral obligations by attempting to obfuscate the truth. If the law had required Paterno to…