If you win you can hire me as your dream smasher/personal assistant. Basically I follow you around wearing running shoes and carry your pocketbook. When you want something shiny I sprint away.

I love all the peopel sayign the wouldnt change, or theyd still work, or they’d live a modest life.

This has happened with me. But it goes a little beyond just cranky, say if there’s a lineup at a donut place or restaurant, and my stomach is after me like crazy for food. I just start to hate these people that I don’t even know, all because they’re between me and sustenance.

I’ve been the same kind of pissed at…

I find “___ liked this post” is a really good way of finding out whether an acquaintance is a bigoted asshole.

The key is do not eat the seeds of the pepper, seeds are not broken down and pass whole though our tender tubes. Seeds are often the hottest part of the pepper, so if you can, avoid the seeds, if not, eat a good dose of yogurt after your meal which won’t prevent it 100%, but should make it more comfy to pass if you…

or living with them

Lol, or kids

“Maybe something awkward happened to put you and your partner off of sex”

“The meal isn’t over when I’m full. It’s over when I hate myself.” -Louis C.K.

This was my motto during Thanksgiving.

In Russia, Fucks give you!

That’s why I’ll never live in the apartment, ever again. You either live on the bottom floor and become the victim, or you live on the top floor and become the enemy. In reality, it’s just people doing everyday things and living their life, but to the person below, it’s amplified into some sort of 24-hour wrestling…

Also from the United States. Maybe I just look like I shouldn’t be traveling ;)

They don’t know what (tortas) they’re missing.

You guys need to just have a unicameral house like us. If your legislation doesn’t pass, TOUGH FUCKING COOKIES. YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW, moms spaghetti etc etc

i don’t think you understand the concept. he jokes around with his employees alot (the same way you’d expect someone to treat his son in law and two oldest friends from childhood) and truly cares about the history of each car and restoring it correctly and doing a good job. and stealing parts from darren’s car

please hand in your Jalop card, that was one of the least jalop answers i read here in the last 5 years.

Kidz

I’ll give you $50 bucks

One-handed opening + locked blade = gold.