No, I had been really surprised by the number of dudes who wanted to go down on me and how focused they were on getting me off! Almost too focused, in fact, which can also lead to an inability to finish. And so apologetic when I wasn’t able to!

I had that *exact* same thought reading this! Like, if I’m not enjoying it, I’m going to tell you what you can do differently, but guys are soooooo into making women cum that sometimes I have to gently tell them that its just not going to happen right then, but I still enjoy having sex with them. But I also live in a…

Tracy, considering the current nostalgia craze that’s broken out on my Facebook feed, shouldn’t it be this picture that accompanies your article?

bey does not poop.

True. If those two crazy kids couldn’t make it, do any of us really have any hope?

My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

Of course, he tries to pretend that Black people love him. Nah, bro. We voted at the annual American Black Convention (ABC), and you are out. Saying that shit about Kerry Washington? You come at the Pope, you best not miss.

Right? This just proves to me that filmmakers have never actually had the kind of bullshit job where you can absolutely be fired for not following all the rules, like not twisting people’s arms to sign up for the company credit card - those of us who have would make this a terrible film, since no creepy shit would…

Deceptive headline. Outraged.

The detectives that care are fucking saints. Good luck.

I’m fine with him being under house arrest so long as every time he uses the bathroom they put a guy with a gun on the outside. You know, in case there’s an intruder.

At my one and only food service job I got reprimanded for not smiling as I was shredding a giant block of cheese (out of the sight of customers). How high would you have to be to be grinning while shredding cheese?!

“It’s important to keep every workplace drug-free. You don’t want people on drugs running the fryer at McDonalds.”

I agree.

Look, Jezzies, I too am ready to settle for Hillary Clinton’s brand of hypercentrist pantsuited warhawking. But let me pine for Bernie, in the green pastures of America’s unreachable left field, for just a few more months.

Yeah, but he self-identifies as a drama llama.

The finest microwaves.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

terrifying.

I mean, you can raise your child to know that women are people but in today’s society every other person outside of your home will remind him that in fact we are not. With their actions, with their laws, with their assumptions, with their words.