I thought My Drunk Kitchen.

I urged my bestie to break up with her boyfriend once because he was being controlling and douchey and not meeting her halfway (literally - they were long distance and he refused to visit her bc he didn’t like the city we lived in, so she spent a lot of time visiting him and not building relationships where we lived)…

Take that back.

That first pic...! His undies are yellow-ish! Clearly it’s a terrible fake that photo. This is the real Hardy!

Crab People Crab People, Look like Crab, Taste like People

I literally had a lesbian friend at university who fits that exact description.

I'm going to need a minute to process this information. I just have had such a high opinion of Chris Brown, who has long been a champion of women, and assumed his attitude would also extend to the LGBTQ community. So it's difficult to believe he would do something like this.

or why performing for lesbians is cool but gay men are an unacceptable audience

An ex-friend of mine dated a POS and years ago he bought her a cocktail ring (around $800) and put it on her credit card and never paid the bill. He refused to get a job. She then went on to have a baby with him and get engaged. They are still together and she is an idiot.

I'm legit freaked out now.

I made the same connection last week

Seriously. This guy makes men who send unsolicited dick pics seem like Nicholas Sparks.

I’ve had an incredibly shitty day at work and this is exactly what I needed.

woah woah woah we don’t need to drag down daniel craig

But...

Also: world’s most simple lyrics. He’s practically “yeah yeah, my dick gets big, then I put it in her vagina. Yeah. She’s a girl. I have a dick. I have sex with my dick.” Lyrical master indeed.

For a second I thought “this will seem so gross to her 10 years from now when she’s older/(hopefully)wiser and he’s just some idiot ex-boyfriend and she hears it on the radio.”

And “stimulated” just has to be the least sexy word ever. *barfing forever*

“She a big girl dog, yeah I’m putting in, I’m penetrating, I’m getting big, yeah I’m stimulated.”