Re: the total stranger thing — I was going to say that this is the kind of dumb, dumb joke that's okay for my close friends to make with our South Park-style humor. A stranger though? Oh, hell no!

When I order fancy cocktails, I always make sure it's at a place known for fancy cocktails/where it's expected. And I don't do the $1/drink thing. Especially during happy hour.

Like the others, I agree. I go to places where I'm friends with those working/they know me. If I get something comped — great! Here's an awesome tip. If I don't — cool! Here's an awesome tip. I never try to take advantage of it.

Aw. Thank you. I am lovely the pup posts and pics.

Gorgeous.

I don't know why this made me giggle so much, but thank you.

I was going to say that no one's apparently seen me around whiskey.

Nah. Honestly, that seemed pretty tame compared to what he's said to others.

I had one of my bosses (drunk) say to me, "I have a helluva lot of respect for you. Wanna know why?" (Because I'm an amazing writer/editor? Because I always make time to help out my colleagues when they're behind?) "Because you've got nice tits, and you keep 'em covered. And I fucking love titties." Awesome.

*than. Damn.

Right? I guess handies are less boring for the guy thank they are for me, but when other options are (likely) on the table, why take that route?

Right? She makes me miss my Nana and going to Ruby Tuesday/P.F. Chang's.

This is unimportant and not your fault, but the ad thrown up there ("Sexy Celebrities with Ugly Significant Others: A Field Guide") makes me SO mad.

In my experience, however, saying who should not message you does not stop the stupid from getting in. That's also too much content for some dude to digest. He's not reading that far down the page.

No! Despite his words, he is not asking for it.

He goes to Harvard, so I'm guessing he did not.

Ha, it's a children's book, but I like it. (A different direction for me.) And thanks! Hang in there as well.

I wish I could star this more.

I am a writer too. I've finally stopped putting that in quotation marks. Sure, I am paid to write about shit I don't care about, but I still make my living stringing (and editing) words together. And one day my book will be published. (I have to keep telling myself that.)

Yes and yes!