An Ode to Joe:

A plague on both your houses

“Congressman, you have Strauss Zelnick on line 1. He’s calling to make sure you don’t legislate the hell out of this trash. Also, he wants to know how you liked your trip to The Lodge at Vail this year.”

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

Some men pay a lot for that kind of thing in Moscow.

alright, everyone just settle down

If profit-oriented entities MLB and AAA made this argument I would also laugh.

wait until you get to drunk Pinoe!

Then Allie Long eats a page. It rules.

My body redacted nothing for several days after eating Skyline.

I found out last year that I’ve been overtaxed for 7 years due to the size of my property being incorrectly inflated by the appraisal district. But there’s nothing I can do to recoup my overpayment because of the two year limitation they set. So it only makes sense that my overpayment and his underpayment essentially c…

Fans can enjoy dongs, but it can still be unprofitable to have them. A lack of dongs will allow you to sell your entertainment to Cinemax, but too many and you’re confined to the vault section of my hometown Video Cinema.

Duh, they have to buy so many more balls.

Oh he’s so lying. Balls are being hit further and faster than ever before. Some would say that this mann has been blinded by the flight

WHAT ABOUT JUSSIE SMOLLETT?

considering his body was almost horizontal when he made contact with lucroy (who i thought would be on an episode of let’s remember some guys by now) I believe him when he says he was diving for the inside corner of the plate.

I’m am a genius

I assure you, he is not. The only morons on the radio who supported Kyrie were one of the two morning show hosts.

You’re right, UConn prioritized its successful men’s and women’s basketball programs ahead of football.......