I had hoped that the implication was diarrhea. But maybe I should have said “as someone else’s wet fart whose fumes you cannot escape.”

Also helpful were the shearling wool overcoat I snagged at a thrift store years ago, and the crampon-adaptable mountaineering boots purchased in 1999 for my post-high school Outward Bound course in Alaska. Thankfully, it appears that my full services have been restored, but I can’t really take that for granted yet.…

Ted Cruz is as useful and pleasant as a wet fart.

It’s been rough in my Dallas apartment complex; yesterday was the first one with pretty much full power, though I know people who haven’t had it for three days, as well as some who never lost it at all. Water has still been off and on, as apartments all around me have burst pipes. The roads have inches of ice and…

Goodbye. 

I love this show, too. In a different episode, he taught me how to more easily get food off the blade of my food processor. And how to more quickly and easily peel garlic!

Clem Fandango is one of the greatest “funny names” ever invented.

My heart sank when I saw this. It was bound to happen soon, that our eldest tier of legends would begin to cross the rainbow bridge, but it still hurts.

You just need to know the right people, with the right customs.

Warner Brothers announces gritty Duck Dodgers in the 24’th 1/2 Century reboot.

Oh, Punky...

Tomorrow, I turn forty. Today, my adorable kitten died and I had to work long shifts at two jobs. Yes, I know I am lucky to have two jobs, one of which actually pays money I can live off of. But this last gasp of my thirties still felt like a kick-to-the-balls kind of day. All this to say that 2021 does not yet feel…

R...E...M...E...M...B...E...R...-...T...O...-...D...U...N...K...-...Y...O...U...R...-...O...R...E...O...-...C...O...O...K...I...E...S...-...I...N...T...O...R...I...C...H...-...C...H...O...C...O...L...A...T...E...-...O...V...A...L...T...I...N...E...

Maybe try white balancing when shooting indoors, rather than relying upon auto settings? That can help a lot. Also, you may need a supplemental light source. ISO, especially on older cameras, can get really gainy really fast over something like 800. If you have a tripod, you may be able to experiment more with…

Oh, fuck, you don’t want to experience that in the rolling forties, mate!

Are you wearing the rollerblades, or are they?

I want Yugo back. They would only make electric hot hatches and/or hoverboards.

A powerful masculine flow? I’m not one to kink shame, but it seems pretty obvious that he’s talking about golden showers.

I have found that Target usually has TimTams.

This is great for areas with no inclement weather, but how do you plow these lanes without shearing off all these posts?