I have one of those microwave egg cookers shaped like a giant egg. Let me just say that I use it every day. You can do soft, medium, and hard; there is no watching; the eggs turn out perfect. For soft and medium you have to tweak your times a little (3 minutes gives me soft yolk and solid whites). 8 minutes gives me…

I'm just turning 50, and I remember having to struggle for decent birth control. I had menstrual problems and I remember my gyn writing me a scrip for what he called "whore pills" and my pharmacist refusing to fill them until he'd spoken to mother. Now birth control practically falls from the sky. One twenty-three…

Always in my cabinet. I've used it forever. Nothing makes your face feel cleaner, and it is pain killer extraordinaire for Florida broiled-skin sunburns (and regular ones too) My mom used to keep a giant jar of it in the fridge. I don't care what it has in it. Every Southern lady of my vintage has this, a bottle…

Plain old spray antiperspirant and a little cornstarch does the trick just fine. Underboob, under tummy, and sadly, other places flesh meets flesh. Also blow drying your parts (on cool) out of the shower. Ladies in hot climates KNOW about these things....

Benedict is team pie. I know this in my heart. I see him in my dreams, slowly drawing a knife across a big deepdish apple pie, drawling, "Would you like a big piece?"

I will eat cake. Cake is an appropriate vehicle for Mr. Wormybutt. But let us not get stupid and besmirch the sacred crusty fruity goodness that is PIE with this Canadian douchepotato.

I used to do that but learned to do two things - Date it (in big letters I can see without a loupe) and put it in the freezer, in a tupperware box. Cream of tartar has a few cool household cleaning applications too and since my mom used the same box for 36 years it apparently has no expiration date...And before I die…

Tramadol...it just kind of sings, doesn't it. "And the angel Tramadal came down from Heaven, and touched me, and lo, I suffered no more."

I really do like Leo, and I have followed his blog for years. I think his is valuable advice in Leo's trademark compassionate, sensible style but I have the same problem Marlahh-1 does....anger. I don't know that it deserves that anger. I wish I could read it (and I have now) with a more open mind but there is…

You know, I'm just desperate enough to do a phone search for it, too. Thanks!

Hey there, darlin Marlahh. I couldn't even read this article at first, because my hackles rose instantly when I read "poison oak". I won't elaborate on my particular bundle of medical funsies. I winced when I read your description of your illness, which I am familiar with. Then I saw it was by Leo Baubuta, who I…

I always like to interject things from the prehistoric era I grew up in for the benefit of you younglings. I remember when Subway was new and they had a crab sub that was made with real crab. The things with shells and claws. It was crab, mayo and magic, heavily peppered. Went for $7 which was INSANE back then but…

You obviously stole that photo from a site about decomposition and maggot growth.

Idiot here. I have to do the plastic bag too cause I'm the Shemp of cooking and the cutlet will end up on the floor or possibly ceiling. I don't own a mallet. My mom used an old fashioned Coke bottle (the short heavy glass one. pouring side down) to pound things. It's great if you have one. I use a cheap…

Made me laugh too but you are probably closer to the truth than you know. There's every possibility that gentle suggestions were made by the black suits that even Rodman's self absorbed arrogance could not ignore. Perhaps they caringly hinted that he needed to go somewhere and relax quietly for a while, the accent…

The Eastern or Asian breeds (the spitz, the chow and the shar-peis are the ones we're most familiar with) do seem to be difficult. Chows used to be popular and I have yet to meet one who is not a little psychotic (to my mind). They are not only capable of being offended, but of brooding over it until the occasion…

I know some really lovable mutts - but I wish we could be a little more moderate about purebreds. I have owned Collies for over twenty five years, every one of them coming from the same breeder (which is not synonymous with "Satan") who raises them with the greatest care and love, rigid screening of owners, and places…

Had a female inmate emaciated from meth and crack come in and as is the wont of meth-crackheads, she immediately peeled off her clothing and, wearing a toilet paper thong and two pasties made out of a Maxi-Pad, began to dance with her hands on the floor and her ass in the air.

Eat my handcuffs.

After my mother's funeral, I came home, knocked back a couple of ice tea glasses of Cheapnhandy wine and went to sleep on the couch in exhaustion. I'd been about thirty seven hours without sleep at that point. Towards one o' clock I heard tinkling music. A dust-covered, never-wound gimcrack music box in the china…