I forgot once and my husband panicked. He thought I had sliced my leg.

I just wanted to offer you support. It took us five years and all the money to have our first son.

I need to investigate these. I went for a hormone check and asked if I was close to menopause ( I am 40) and my hormone levels are like FUCK YES LET’S DO THIS BABY THING. I have three lovely babies. The gate is locked and the moat has crocodiles. I was bummed. My dr actually laughed( in a nice way?) because apparenly…

I have to use a chlorox wipe on the bathroom floor after getting out of the shower. FREAKING WHAT EVEN UTERUS.

We are friends. I have declared it.

Still would.

I thought- that is a TERRIBLE IDEA, RUN. But like.... I did similar and it was a huge fucking pain and continues to be complicated. Not with a man, with my mom. My Dad said RUN and I did not. Objectively, he was correct.

A fetus can kill a woman.

riiiiight. well, good luck with your miserable life.

I AM A GENIUS.

I think he’s doing it for job security.

Never underestimate the internet when it comes to answering rhetorical questions. JESUS FUCK STOP.

I’m dismissing this as unworthy because you seem like a didactic snob. I can read subtext and yours translates to Didactic Snob.

That is the most cogent explanation of them that i have ever read.

How can you be pro death penalty AND anti-abortion?

Mommy tracked forever.

Sad but true, my husband is going to a brain storming meeting today , and is supposed to bring an innovative idea. i suggested on site day care as a great perk and a way to retain more employees, etc etc annnd we both agreed that suggesting it would actually make him look less business focused and that it would be…

That is. That is something.

There are some people so horrid that the best I can hope for is a that a friendly bee will sting them in the dick.

I love you so much right now that there is an actual tear in my eye.