‘You can’t even beat your man. Just shut up and watch me.’

This, 100%. They're making this into A Thing that is so much bigger than it needs to be. Every comment about the double doink or attempt to recreate that scenario (and exercise some demons in the process, seemingly) only magnifies the situation more. Just stop already. 

But there’s a $50 fee for the ban. 

Florida man, Florida man
sneaking a vape while on the can
Spirit Airlines is no longer a fan
Florida man

Derek Geisel, the operation’s rescue pilot.

Only Bill & Ted never say “radical”. Ever.

On the one hand, this is a fairly harmless and funny prank. On the other hand, this guy runs a parody Steve Berthiaume account for some reason. 

That sounds like the best Chobani flavor.

My first instinct is that red socks guy is a teenager, because most grown ass men who go to ball games would be in a first aid booth if they tried to do what this dude so easily did.  

You think we’re tracking Alex Len in warmups but we’re really tracking gentrification.

Jealousy is an ugly color on you.

Is anybody really arguing that Mike Trout isn’t a statistical marvel by just about any measure? He has an OBP north of .450, SLG above .550 and walks more than he strikes out. He has 6 SB with one CS and 11 HR in 149 AB. None of those are really advanced stats. OBP and Slugging have been around for 40 years now.

If Quentin Tarantino is Weezer, then Jackie Brown is his Pinkerton. Audiences balked at it and wanted pop, he disappeared and came back to play the hits, but it was never quite the same. And all the while it’s sneakily his best movie hands-down.

Because living in a brick McMansion 5-10 miles from anything of interest and the most culturally significant thing in the area being the first McDonalds in the metro suburban area sounds like actual hell to me.

As someone who lives in a city (Chicago) without an NBA franchise, I am extremely here for this juicy basketball gossip.

You have no idea what you’re talking about, Barry!

You are confusing having any personality and being an insufferable dickhead.

Howard Schultz for the Iron Throne. His bland and charmless technocratic centrism is the best chance the Seven Kingdoms have to avoid a permanent power struggle.

I know it’s jeets and he’s a legend but nobody’s just going to gift it to him. Success isn’t wrapped up neatly in a basket. 

The golden ring of hell.