A famous tenet of John Lohke's An Essay Concerning Human Understanding is the idea that man can easily revert back to tabula rasa with a well-timed kick to the head.

Kluwe: Hey Blair, whatcha thinkin' about?

"Yeah, you always have to cut a cheque that's ten times bigger when they start making noise."

The Gawker sites should look into different headline structures than "you gotta.." "you've never..." "you're going to...".

This is how zombies are made.

Thanks for your input man. It's not like everyone and their mother feels this way. Good contribution.

Illinois Police are focusing their search on area Chili's restaurants because Marcus was last heard muttering, I want my baby back. I want my baby back...

Things I sincerely hope for:

"Justin Bieber And The Plight Of The Conquering Caucasian"

"I wish my haters just criticized me," Emmett Till.

Now go read the whole thing, so you can find out what Woody Allen did you make the MSG bosses so mad.

Oh sure, but when I dress up in a furry costume and grab a small white girl in Utah, it's all FBI this, and Amber Alert that.

RIp 'em all out and crush the damned things. if you want a friggin' bike, BUY ONE. They are like $50 to $75 at WalMart or Target

Alex, is that you?

Where did this idea that Sherman is "smart" come from? Because he went to Stanford and majored in "communications" and then got accepted to grad school so they could keep him eligible for another year? Does anyone really think Stanford is somehow above FSU, ND, Alabama, etc when it comes to getting this nitwits…

Finally, someone with an actual reason to tell you about CrossFit.

next on ESPN2, "CrossSit"

Walk it off, pussy.

Your white guilt is hitting critical mass.

/sad trombone