You seem fun

I know Anonymous personally and let’s just say he has quite the tendency to break into preschools, dressed as a Panda, and smear honey on his dirty Panda bits; without breaking eye contact with the horrified children.

Did your friend’s mother have several reputable people publicly accuse her of using drugs, resulting in authorities opening an investigation, upon which your friend’s mother publicly stated she was entering rehab to deal with her problem? Then did you still refuse to form an opinion because it was more convenient to…

“... if someone disagrees with gay marriage that doesn’t make them homophobic.”

Can something be too stupid to be racist? You are making a valiant effort to find out.

“What I’ve always said is I know nothing about that. I can only speak for what he has been to me and the players,”

Is this a joke? It’s been talked about all week...

But when your team can’t win trophies this is the type of thing you focus on.

Yeah, it’s ridiculously contrived. But when your team can’t win trophies this is the type of thing you focus on.

It has to be uppity black people. It certainly isn’t the cost of tickets/parking/concessions; poor responses to domestic violence and brain trauma; that no one knows what a catch is; that the league’s punishment is inconsistent and makes the commissioner look like a idiot; that the league has saturated the market with…

Hey Dad, I want to start a business making shirts for Cam from Modern Family. 

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

Maybe even go a little further south too!

It’s amazing how much stupid shit one person can say in a paragraph, but let me try to break this down.

I thought that was the inauguration crowd. My mistake.

Trust me, I’m 24 and a big rap fan, and I still feel out of it with these people. I can handle people like Yachty and Uzi to a certain extent, but dudes like this or Lil Pump make me cringe. Stop letting these stupid kids with a billion face tattoos, stupid hair and trash bars get famous.

this dude looks like a fake Onion article about 2017 rappers

Yeah, I didn’t get that either, and I sort of don’t get some of the responses that are being critical by saying that giving $14 million to your friends is taking it away from a charity. Huh? It’s not taking it away if it wasn’t theirs to begin with. It’s Clooney’s money to distribute as he sees fit, otherwise where…

If you eat quinoa instead of rice you’re getting 1 extra gram of fiber, 3 extra grams of protein, and 6 fewer grams of carbs. Out of the 50-100 grams of protein you’re eating today, 3 grams is not going to make or break anything.