Just get her the leash and peace sign collar and let her be severely disappointed when she doesn't get the pet dog.

Maybe she just wants to make it rain with the $1000 like in the Katy Perry videos you let her watch. This is your fault, Drew

So Chris Smith would have flourished under Phil Jackson?

You mean there's no mention of Analytical Ron

It's still the cutest thing on the field

Do you ever feel like paying for a girl's drinks at the bar that you are trying to take home or paying for dinner is a form of prostitution? I mean you are doing it to "be nice" but in the end, its just for the sex

I hope NIG ends up playing GER

We should set up a fund for that poor waitress

Mohel: Attempts circumcision
Mutombo: [Slaps scalpel out of hand] Not in my house, hahaha

I invited Muhammed Ali to my daughters 5th birthday and it looked more like he tried to color in the invitation than sign his name. What an ass

Thats not even a baseball card, its just a picture of him casually sitting on top of his camaro

Looks like there werent too many dual threat QB's back in that era

Janurary is always a good month for Creampies

1. Everything listed below mixed together and covered in gravy

Based on your previous rants, I'm guessing pecan pie is also behind being hit by a car?

+1 Holy Shit

How do I clean my shirt and wound from an oil burn on my arm after attempting to fry a turkey?

Hay, thats pretty cool

Sadly, its quite easy to dribble on your hands when you have to sit down and wipe when you pee

Oh, that pizza candy was definitely sitting in that parent's junk closet as a secondhand gift for quite some time. They probably got it from someone and when the little kid asked the parents for a gift to get her teacher, she went straight for the shitty candy that was given to her by her vegan friend.