We’re done here.

“You think that’s bad—you should see my videos of the things they say at practice”

How long was he dead for?

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

Bummer.

Alternate headline: Fundamentalists afraid of fundamentalists.

I have never felt older than I feel right now, after learning that Chris Berman is only 16 years older than me.

Sure, Harper’s Spud Webb impression was impressive, but Johnson’s Hank Gathers one was even better.

HOT TAKE

I thought blankets killed the indians?

Actually they were applauding because they showed an anti-STEM commercial on the jumbotron.

Yeah, he’s a great basketball player. But I just can’t forgive him for bombing that building in Oklahoma City all those years ago.

Throwing on the one yard line instead of running it for starters

Shump-hurt

I feel like your inconveniences are less important than the real issues here, yet somehow you wrote an entire article about how much it sucks to be cold.

For you, being trapped in a hotel in North Dakota during a blizzard in subzero temperatures will be a story you tell for the rest of your life. For midwesterners, it was Tuesday.

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”

Janoris: “Your wife is ugly. Your dad is a murderer.”

If you have time check out my band Disrespekt.