I'm sorry, but if you surgically have your dick stuck up inside ya, I'm going to fucking ask about that shit.

I must have missed the memo when shit-talking became so politically correct. Two people are about to step into a cage where they will beat on each other until one of them could technically kill the other person. How can one not be expected not to use that bait?

Nice. My dickhead roommate had downloaded the UFC and knew what was coming, but said nothing. I did a loud "oh my god" and immediately left the room not to return while he laughed. Damn desensitized former military.

Just ask Anderson Silva about the whole the bone density thing.

She has a face?

Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.

Does she smoke cigars or is that always a blunt in her hand?

How does that list differ from normal life?

If a guy does it, it's sexist. DUH.

"Have had sex with" is not subjective. You can't make up your own definition.

That's because "online dating" is a misnomer. Dating happens face to face. Everything before that is just emailing.

Dudes who do that are sexless losers who watch too much porn. Any man who is getting regular strange would never say such stupid shit.

That sucks. I only asked because I have heard of old time situations like that working out real well and the women who were married at 14 actually being very happy.

Can I still refer to my woman as my woman?

Yes, this country needs to get rid of Obamacare.

I wish all of our US politicians did the same thing. The Farm Bill is undoubtedly the worst piece of legislation ever.

So if it's wrong for Americans to feel offended by use of this audio, does that mean rape jokes are okay again? Who cares if they offend some testy feminist, ammirite?

Because nobody knows who the hell Steve Reich is.

Haha. That's like taking credit for a nasty dump and forgetting to flush.

Interesting? What was your grandmother's take on the situation? Did she think she had a good marriage?