Thank you from the depth of my Panda driver heart, Bradley! I am so tired of all those assholes commuting to their desk job in one of those gargantuan fuckturds. Every day, I see dozens of assholes commuting to their desk job in one of those horrifugly obnoxious SUV coupes or pickups they never use as intended. When I…

That’s absolutely brilliant. I’m a little extra nerded out since I spent 6 years in a shop as their primary wheel alignment technician (and that was 10 years ago when I quit already... time flies).

I don’t think so, that’s a point for the Charger. You did say cool, I guess the Gremlin is just adorable :)

When you spend all day fixing other people’s cars, you don’t really want to do more than the bare minimum on your own. The employee lot of our service department is a testament to this ideology.

Spot on translation. Sentimental NP = “I don’t have the money to buy it, but it is a cool vehicle that someone out there has the means to buy, and I’ll be happy for that guy!”

“Jumping on cars and acting like a moron” sounds like a YouTube channel with four million subscribers.

bought my first viper (13gts) in july with 7500 miles, currently at 11300, am I doing it right? :-)

it was such a goddamn embarrassment how the media worked that shit.

“I am a 6'7", 350-pound burly guy with a big beard and a love for small cars.”

Not enough branding. Make mine a DenimMachine...

You could picture them saying “what’s with the flying saucer on the trunk lid?” 

Never go down the rabbit hole that is Curt Schilling’s Twitter. 

Alex Zanardi: loses both legs in a wreck; aggressively and successfully rejoins sport which took his legs (and oh yeah becomes an Olympian).
Me: says “you too” when McDonalds drive thru employee says “enjoy your meal,” never returns to McDonalds.

You left out “throwing a wheel cover/trim ring on a hard corner.”

bless this child. this sweet, smart, funny little child.

I agree with you on applying this to all aspects of life. The older I get, the better I am at applying it. I’ll tip waitstaff a minimum of 20%, even if the service was bad. I think about how if I’m having a bad day at work for whatever reason my pay is not reduced as a result.

Having owned a cheap, much abused Dodge Viper, I can confirm that this is both an excellent, and supremely poor decision that everyone with $10,000 should both do and then regret.

Over the years, I’ve become milder about these two.