Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day...

They always raise?

Delonte West reference? Which I think was in itself an El Mariachi reference

I misread this and thought USA TF was US ATF. This is not the story I hoped for...

I'd have thought of "cockface" as a verb. At least it is the way I do it...

It is the way I do it.

"If you want to be a dick go nuts" is my new anthem.

Awesome illustration!

Entirely possible—I admit that I'm a bit out of my depth in that market.

Fair point, but ALL interested buyers know the score, so all offers will be depressed.

Take comfort in the thought that his wife will take a huge piece of that. Also, $500 million of "worth" doesn't equate to $500 million of cash. The team is a business with a significant amount of debt, and given the circumstances of the sale, he won't get the full value for the assets. Still filthy rich, but now…

Maybe, but a forced sale means a less efficient market. He's not going to die poor, but he'll have a lot less than he would have had he sold a week ago.

Sounds like a silly gym on multiple levels, but there's obviously a market for it or they wouldn't be expanding like they have been...

Harnessed a little too much chi...

Pretty shady, especially under the circumstances, but it wouldn't be the first time a guy lied about hooking up with a girl

We're actually pretty okay with that now, as long as he wasn't placing bets.

Great headline

Correct—I don't know what could be smug or self-congratulatory about it. Either of those imply that I'm saying something about myself. I wasn't.

An annual convention of atheists? Sounds like a lot of self-congratulation and smugness