I was pro-choice before I got pregnant, but pregnancy really cemented my belief that access to free and safe abortions is one of the most important issues today. NO ONE should have to go through a pregnancy if they don’t want to. People who say “put the baby up for adoption if you don’t want it” can go fuck…

I was going to complain about portrait mode, but the effort for a perfect title frame makes up for it.

Every time I see someone refer to it as “dipping”, I automatically assume it's like how Dairy Queen dips their soft serve into the candy shell stuff. Because dipping is a bad and dumb way to say scooping.

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

No, it’s real.

I just really need the parks cast to be real people I could be friends with. It's all I ask, universe!!!

Reading that just made me inhale probably a pretty dangerous amount of solid food. That’s exactly what Charlie Sheen said to Mario Lopez. Like you’re exactly right.

“I fingered that blonde lady backstage.”

The magikarp pond is obviously the coolest.

The internet has ruined me. I can no longer look at a themepark without thinking of how creepy it will look after it is abandoned even if all the things were probably packed away after it was shut down.

mud......

I think people over-exaggerate the high cost of Whole Foods. I don’t notice much of a difference between a box of cereal there and a box of cereal at, say, Stop & Shop. Their 365 brand is often cheaper than at other grocery stores too. The only stuff that really does cost more is the produce, meat, and fish and, to be…

The T-Rex in the Jurassic Park ride is being replaced with a Yoshi!

If a customer wants a waffle that’s griddled until theres no gluten, you griddle it until it has no gluten!

I hear “chi-POLE-tee” a lot and it drives me fucking crazy. This word isnt goddamn hard.

The international breakfast is a half-waffle

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

Chi-poh-little at least sounds a bit better than how I’ve heard most people pronounce it: chi-pottle, as in “bottle” with a p.

I take it you had a really awful time in high school English class.