I think the headline did a good enough job of communicating that the article was satire. That being said, it’s not good or funny satire.

People do get crazy around here when someone they don’t find attractive gets laid. 

My take is that this ad is bad, but not so bad that it will stop anyone from getting the game, and it’s being talked about a lot and getting shared all over the internet. I suspect that overall it will positively impact their sales.

It’s seems like no one in Square Enix’s marketing team (or probably the dev team too) knows how a woman in her 20's actually speaks.

bravo

At this point I think Square Enix's marketing department is just trolling. With this and Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin, I think Square Enix has master the art of bad viral marketing. 

As someone who has been in cuffs. Yeah, you can’t break those cuffs. Fucking things hurt more then you’d think just being on your wrists normally.

To me, the tone is just very off/odd. It sounds sort of like a kid’s show or something. Very quippy, cheesy, etc. It feels very cliché, kinda “wacky”.

No this is cuffy not buffy

...is this why everyone has been mentioning Joss Whedon again today?

*record scratch*

Yeah, no mention of damage control anywhere in this article.

What is the damage control, exactly? Maybe I missed it.

It’s Kotaku, they’re horny about everything.

Is there some sort of rule that Kotaku has to post a horny article every day?  

Pretty sure sneaking your zucchini into someone van can be considered assault

When you figure out how horny zucchini are, let me know; I’ve got a whole garden full of them. People are installing new carpet at my house as I type and I literally snuck a bag of zucchini into their van.

Is this Ethan admitting he’s horny for produce, because I find nothing horny about any of this.

Came here to say this. That thing is 100% a zucchini.

I’m sorry, that’s neither a cucumber nor an eggplant. That is wholly a zucchini.