This is true.

Even if you don’t regularly wash your hands after going to the bathroom, you have to wash your hands when there are witnesses! Pretend! Something!

This reminds of my boss from when I worked at Circuit City a million years ago. One of the dudes from my department told me that he went into the bathroom one day and he was sitting in the stall doing his business when he looked over and saw that the person in the stall next to him had a KFC meal sitting on the floor…

Believe it! I have seen it first hand. Could not believe my eyes.

I... I don’t even have words.

Noooooooo. Hurk! Aaaaaah. What the fuck.

In this case, there was no way flushing would’ve helped. The guy who left something like that must’ve been into EXTREME fisting—like, Popeye-level fisting.

I hope it was a sausage sandwich at least?

What? Is that weird?

Pride

Starbucks (at the time, not sure on the current policy) didn’t reserve the right to refuse customers. That was the explanation we received from “corporate”, at least.

I’m an aunt four times over which means you are automatically the go to babysitter. Both at home or in public I have had to use the toilet with all the babies in my family at least once while handling calls or messages from my sisters about said babies. I may not have the Mad Mama Skills of some of you fine people but…

I find it so gross when co-workers don’t wash their hands, especially when they are management or executive level employees. The COO at my old job would barely wash her hands. She basically stuck them under the water for a second and was done.

I found a buddy passed out on a hotel toilet with a open pizza box, several half eaten slice’s within arm’s reach and crumbs in his chest hair. So, you decided to eat and shit at the same time my friend? Just couldn’t wait to eat til the shitting was done, could ya now?

A big pile of jizz on the floor...but not exactly in a bathroom. It was in a port-a-potty, on the first day of an estate sale in rural Illinois at 9 in the morning. So, somebody woke up really early to go to an estate sale in the middle of nowhere to jizz on the floor of a port-a-potty. Now that is dedication.

I am so happy the Megyn Kelly thing was on here, because goddamn was it perfect. And Kara perfectly summed up my feelings for Megyn- 99% of the time she is terrible, horrible, no-good, and very bad. But that other 1% is when she does things like this, and I can’t help but love her. Also, this:

I’m pretty sure it’s something like this:

Well, actually, not Jesus ;)

Megyn Kelly showed up as she continues the long, slow march towards the end of her contract. Her coworker Sean Hannity took a break from shining Donald Trump’s shoes to ask him a few questions following the debate.