What pisses me off is that if she dies, her douchebag brother/husband is going to keep everything. When he's one of the worst influences of her life and a massive hanger-on. He clearly didn't protect her but he will sure be the person who benefits the most if she's gone.

Why they don't change it? Because of the whole false recovered memories of Satanic cult abuse BS of the 80's.

Syphilis?

Drugs????

Surprised he didn't mix it up with the Bible. Doesn't a TRUE patriot ONLY read the Bible? There goes his presidential bid!

You ever try to think about infinity and your brains hurts? This sentence has the same effect:

Sarah Palin is that ex-girlriend (of America) that just won't go the fuck away. You (America) have moved on with your life a long time ago but Sarah misses you and just can't let you go.

"I hate it when the president uses teleprompters but you can bet I'll blame one I was using when everyone says I'm a lunatic!"

A pantsuit can crush patriots.

I know right? I thought we all snarked at how, with all the money she's worth, her photoshop attempts are budget.

"Lilo will be the death of us all!"

Really? I thought people called her out on it all the time...

Alert science! It would appear she has swallowed a small black hole, it's obviously affecting the gravitational field around her. If not contained she could unleash an extinction level event! Lilo will be the death of us all!

if you actually care about audio quality then you'd rather be dead than get anything by Beats.

So an education qualifies as “little in return”? Interesting comment from someone in academia.

I dont know. Healthy, athletic men in their early 20s don't usually go around shitting themselves in their pants, even during exercise, even if they eat greasy food

Hopefully the coach will be a little more specific in the future when he calls for the runs.

Isn't involuntarily shitting your pants a symptom of pretty significant head trauma associated with concussion-like symptoms? I read an article about how this is a thing football players taking huge hits to their head do (maybe even on deadspin itself). So while we can laugh at him for shitting himself, this may…

She's not in The Interview. She's in American Hustle, with Bradley Cooper. I mentioned this in the second paragraph—emails from the hack show that she was paid way less than her male co-stars and male director. This was a huge news story when it broke. This is what they want to ask her about.

Sheesh, could you put a trigger warning for these pics?! That's too gruesome for a monday night!!