(about to consummate) (Twilight Zone music starts playing, Rod Serling starts narrating) DAMN IT

I had no idea that building Christine demon-cars, creating tsunamis, and engineering cybernetic squirrels were patch-granting activities.

I can’t wait until he develops his own premium brand of cat food called Diaw Mix

Never forget the p.c. that America embraces: patriotic correctness. Shout out to the troops. They’re keeping America safe. Take your hat off. Sing God Bless America. Don’t question the trillion dollar Pentagon budget. Are those colors running? Well they shouldn’t be.

Perhaps as a gift/recognition of a certain comic fan demographic in having to crawl through the desert to find decent representation, they could offer the titles at cost to.. well I’m just talking crazy now.

Incidentally, Wild Hack was Rick Reilly’s nickname during his hard-drinking college years on the school sports beat.

Results from Deadspin’s short straw editorial meeting.

The infield is still a little thin, maybe get Lenny Dykstra to fill in at second for a few weeks. Plus think of all the financial planning advice he can dispense in the dugout.