The narcissistic ex boyfriend, to me as I was getting dressed. I was 25 and weighed about 117. “God, remember your 18 yr old body? You were so hot then.” I left him about 2 weeks later.

That happens to me all the time!

THIS IS NOT A HAT.

SAME

When I got engaged, I called an ex to tell him because I thought we were more friends than anything else. We had only had sex once, we were just friends with sexual tension.

I’m a classical singer, and it’s tradition that people bring you big bouquets when you do a recital. I was once dating a very sweet but very anxious/depressed guy and I had a very big recital coming up- my first on an actual concert series- and I was so stressed out about it that I never told him about the tradition…

I think the aesthetic changed in the 20th century with the change in fashions- undergarments such as corsets went away, the lines of dresses changed. Also I don’t discount the popularity of “moving pictures.” The camera adds 10 lbs and movies were so incredibly popular, they changed the cultural aesthetic.

1. Cleans the shower/tub/motherfucking faucet and taps after massive manscaping.

We called them Dittos and it was a Ditto Machine! I loved it when they were warm.

You are brilliant!

Tell a psychiatrist so you can get a small rx for Ativan or Xanax - you can get a 10 day or even 3 pills or whatever just to help you get through it.

Thank you-all hugs appreciated!

Chapter subheading holy crap we are all going to die

Um I love Alexis Bittar what does that mean about me???

I take an Ativan.

Remember when John Aielli could play that weird educational audio about frog calls? And then play Joni Mitchell Both Sides Now? That show had the slow groove that Austin had then. It was weird and it didn't care if you didn't like it.

All my family are still there and migrating north to Round Rock or waaaaaay out bee caves. I moved there in 2000 but had visited since the 80s. The slow slow hot summer feeling - the quiet and the heat - a margarita outside with your xmas tamales...I miss it. But if I went back it would be round rock and the toll…

I knew a guy in college who faked cancer after his girlfriend dumped him. His mistake was faking STOMACH cancer. You can't just sit and eat subway with stomach cancer, bro. That shit was just embarrassing to witness.

What a big job for such a little girl!

Just stopping by to say I love your avatar