I’d like to think we can all agree, no matter our opinions on cancel culture in general, that whoever those “very famous people” are, they should have their fame revoked immediately (or after a short but sharp period of naming and shaming, so as to warn off others who might attempt to follow in their footsteps).

They can survive without each other for a few hours, and if their need for each other was really that dire, they could have planned in advance and booked seats next to each other. Stay put.

you are a pussy.  I feel sorry your kids won’t have a male role model in their life.

But how else will I feel morally superior and tough, if not for at my keyboard?

So you’re an asshole then. Your fucking piece of shit kid too.

We rarely know everything behind a stranger’s situation. Maybe she had a death in the family and booked last-minute tickets to attend the funeral. Maybe another family member just called to say they’re suicidal or in desperate medical condition, and she dropped everything and booked the only seats she could grab.

Most of this could be solved if airlines (and now movie theatres, too) didn’t put so many of us in this weird, awkward, class-charged predicament.

If the seat is a similar spot (aisle for aisle, etc) I’ll usually oblige the request.
Recently an older gentleman asked me to switch his middle seat for my aisle seat and said he had bad circulation in his legs. I agreed since it was a short flight, even though I specifically picked the aisle because I’m taller and…

You’re forgetting that it’s 2019, and that little Bradyn and Emerson need to be unique and special in every way. 

So being induced early so you can steal it back isn’t the right answer?

Thank goodness we’re rid of weak Obama and his endless Apology Tours and complete abdication of American Sovereignty. It’s awesome to have a Strong, America-First President who is, uh, just waiting to be told how to proceed and whom to attack by another country.

Yeah, it’ll be called Titled Goose Game.

‘Bounty hunter’? Shouldn’t that be ‘freelance peacekeeping agent’?

Yeah, as far as I’m concerned, there’s like a 97% chance that it’s a vision of what might come to pass.

You stare for exactly 3.5 seconds, and slowly walk away.

Celebrate all you want, but I guarantee the next guy will have us pining for Bolton’s gravitas and experience.

Break out the Prune Juice! 

“That’s like re-segregating the country, why would we want that? Besides of course the reasons Tucker Carlson and I lay out every night.”

 Dude, some Muricans need their idiot murder toys to go get Starbucks.