Future Headline: Florida Man Loses Focus in Attempt to Sub One Addiction for Another

Florida decided to franchise out it’s brand of crazy to other states in order to pay for it’s meth and Publix sub addictions.

The key to stress free air travel is to alpaca light.

They must also be charging a fee to use the turn signals and parking assist.

And there’s a road I have to follow, a place I have to go

The speech also works well for frisbees on the roof and cereal boxes on high shelves.

*Yakov Smirnoff Mode On*

But sometimes it’s hard to bring it up in conversation, because we’re afraid the discussion will have a political aftertaste.

There were enough ground up Cheerios in the back seat to make it part of a complete breakfast.

Heated seats and a tape deck?

This is also an Accent:

If we’re actually doing this, we might as well go all in on the pyrotechnics.

Can’t be that expensive considering it comes from a free willy.

I see all of the necessary references have been made.

English design ruined, must use French design.

You may also remember it from the Troy McClure film The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel.

If we’re making animal comparisons, I consider the Explorer to be more of a dog (specifically a lab). It’s not the smartest vehicle, but it’s always present, always hungry, and eager to do work.

David Tracy has already been arrusted for his crimes.

The Donald Trump School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Don’t Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too

Those were the good old days. When eastern European gangsters compromising the President was something better left for summer blockbusters.