my life is pretty easy at the moment, but i appreciate your sympathies nonetheless. again this post is a limited criticism of brooks’s column itself, which does not mention anything about clinton’s record, and merely says she needs to open up and be warmer, and i personally find that remarkable

The monster will be an electric fish, otherwise known as....Charged Cod...

Now if only that Nigerian princess I met near Beantown Brewery would pay me back the million caps that I lent her.

We can’t look into the hearts of other people, and we shouldn’t pretend we can. Actions matter. If you enjoy being an a-hole, it doesn’t mean you aren’t an a-hole, it just means you enjoy it. That’s all I’m saying.

Well, what do you mean by “okay”? People can do whatever they want privately. Is that not the case already and perpetually? It doesn’t make them morally neutral just because the tree fell with no one (no outsiders) to hear it.

Nope. You’re just a bad person. You can get better, but no one is going to make you.

I’m a stand up comic in Dallas, TX (Lawrence Rosales) and you might hear the word Fag every once in a while but it’s not from anyone that has the slightest amount of talent.

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

In contrast to Eleanor Roosevelt, who famously said “America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.”

I believe it was Lenin who said, “Here, take this shit and you’ll be, like, wicked strong and able to run really fucking fast.”

I miss being able to apply for jobs without fear of competition from blacks and women, but what can you do?

I saw a movie once where some guy said, “that’s gay” and a woman replied, “how come when you mean stupid, you say ‘gay’”? It cracked me up and made me realize that it was kind of stupid to say “gay” when I meant “stupid”.

Hi, I’m a stand-up comic, performing nightly. You’re wrong.

I once said something was gay while playing call of duty in a room where I was one of two straight people, and maybe 7 or 8 gay people were also there. I was horrified as soon as I said it, my (gay) brother-in-law started giving me shit about it, and one of his gay friends told him to quit being such a fag. I’m not…

My suggestion would be: Stop viewing everything and judging everyone through a political lens. Do that and you may find that the person who disagrees with you on a few things may agree with you on many, many other things and actually be fun to be around.

On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20

I like what you’re saying, but it’s so damn hard to execute. Either you overreact to every slight, or you’re like me — you try to be kind, but you bottle things up too long and then snap like a dick. Healthy confrontation was not taught to kids enough when I was growing up. Maybe it is now, I don’t have kids yet, so I…

I told you to knock it off.

I prefer to follow Dalton’s advice: