Thank you. It was never about equality. It’s about liberation.

Can we make “Have fun with your bread.” a thing? Like, the new “This too shall pass”?

I can think of two Castros. Let’s start a trend. Hussein, Castro...uh, Mugabe?

That’s great to hear. I blew off getting a CD signed in Bethlehem because, why risk it? Next time.

There was a pretty great stand-up bit back in the 90s about how emasculating the straws are (David Alan Grier?). But any tool bag who took it as a life lesson, probably lifted it from Ryan Gosling’s character.

This sounds a lot like Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden.

Congress.

Creepier than Slender Man.

Sartre, the Pope with no hope. Close enough.

Write the light David! Write the light?

They’re the seagoing branch of the Navy. I don’t understand why we give them such a hard time.

I’m pretty sure this was a tortured “Isiah” joke.

You’re asking why a person who has no sense of self or others, completely incapable of self-reflection, can’t perform they’re own spellcheck?

C’mon you never wanted/had a Cobra Hammerhead growing up?

Brad Garrett could play JD!

Depending on the style, a refrigerator magnet’d do it. Not one of the really flat ones, but like the ones that are mounted in a chip clip.

If they have to retrain: “Hey, hold onto this.” The war’s already lost. And am I reading this right? Why is an armed force so consistently close to nutbars and congressmen (small difference, I know) provided with weapons without external safeties?

Maybe the cops each have a wide stance and the weapon keeps getting caught in the toilet paper holder.

Hey! We. Don’t. Say. His. Name.

Well, she does make acquiring obscene wealth look easy.