Most runners allowed in a perfect game ever. -ESPN Stats Inc.

You are correct! I had a difficult relationship with my father, and as a result, I have become a fifty-foot-tall, six-and-a-half-ton sex worker. I tower over cities and crush houses beneath my mighty heels. Look upon my tits, ye mighty, and despair!

It’s funny because he looks like a stick shift.

I know...

I can’t wait until he asks Jon Jones to hit him with a car.

I guess they’re still pretty close, and that’s cool and all, but there’s no need to brag about it. My little league coach was there when I lost my virginity, and the tears were in my eyes, and you don’t hear him blubbering to the Mercury News about it. “Act like you been there before,” Coach Barry would say. I did. I d…

If the Cavs win this series, the Hall of Fame should probably just start working on a 100-foot-high LeBron James statue that breathes fire.

20 years of the same deodorant, I play a million sports, wear full suits in Manhattan in the summer and have not had a single pit episode. Easiest call of all time:

20 years of the same deodorant, I play a million sports, wear full suits in Manhattan in the summer and have not had…

Leeks and Onion

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Given the general batshittery that has accompanied this entire relationship, I don’t think we can assume any such thing! It doesn’t seem like “prudence” has been a much-valued virtue in any stage of their courtship . . .

NOW! Now I’m interested in the WNBA. This is almost as good as any 80s soap opera plot.

Does anyone else appreciate the irony of a story about Brittney Griner’s marriage annulment with the above photo her in a jersey sponsored by LifeLock?

When asked for her reason to annul, Griner simply blamed it on the rain.

“What are you looking at?” “What are you looking at?”

If you’ve ever played Milton Bradley’s Axis & Allies, it really does seem that the best Russian strategy is to toss endless numbers of troops at your opponents...

Someday you’re going to have 20 year old stud, can’t miss, gonna be the next great superstar center fielder, and he’s going to trip going up that fucking hill and snap his neck on that flag pole of yours and you’re going to feel silly about how “georgous” your park is. You do have a choo choo train on the left field…

Astros fan here.

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

I too was suspicious when I saw that they weren’t forced to bat in an alternating male-female-male-female order like my softball team is.