Wow. People criticize Tebow fans for reading things into the Bronco's victories, but Tom Brady probably hasn't read a book in ten years, now he's a fucking intellectual? Eat a dick Fatsis you weeping cunt.

For the first time ever I have to say I disagree with Drew about something NFL-related. As a Bronco fan who actually followed all this shit closely before it became some circus, I can say that he's probably viewed as a underdog because every asshole media idiot out there (Cowherd, Bradshaw, Hoge) was absolutely…

WTF?

SCOTTIE PIPPEN

I believe that most of the "would you rather _____ or _______" Funbag questions are submitted by Satan so he can sort of feel out new punishments for the underworld afterlife.

Even even if you include the brief groping of a passed-out wife, this DHF is the least rapey one yet! Congratulations to everyone involved!

Danny the Chameleon.

Armen Keteyian thinks you guys oversold this scoop a bit.

"Listen, don't let anyone touch your hoohaa, or your dingding, or your biddle-dee-boo, or your giblets, or your bobo, or your ramalamadingdong. GOT IT?!"

I also just wanted to mention that Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress's comment in that candy thief post was my favorite comment ever on here.

I always find it strange when AJ gives out a time and place of where he'll be, because I always kinda imagine him being constantly pursued by a hilarious array of enemies ala Jake and Elwood Blues. Like Salisbury's sitting outside his house with a rocket launcher and there's a Winnebago full of former ESPN execs…

I think what we're leaving out of this discussion is that Luck looks like he should be raping canoe tripping Atlanta businessmen in the Georgia woods.

My only thought was that his client, Not Sure, was probably pretty pissed.

It was my wife's birthday the other week, and I got her a card that had a little peekaboo window on the front, and when you opened the card there was a picture of a monkey's ass. She was not amused.

I watched the game last night on a pirate internet feed from Sweden that featured the announcer chatter and stuff that happens while ESPN is at commercial, and Jon Gruden did indeed chuckle at one point "he's 6/16 for 8 yards?? Is that even possible? That's Tebow numbers!"

Ensuring we are not stuck with sports-related medical expenses.

So it's New Year's Eve of my senior year of high school and by unfortunate turns of events I am still a virgin.

God that's evil, and so good.

Also a five-letter word to McCarver? J-I-M-B-E-A-M.

This is the kind of lawsuit that scares corporate America into overreacting. Next thing you know, Chili's is cutting me off at 3 drinks and I have to find a new place for lunch.