@Bobby Big Wheel: "Vous avez des armes fille osseuse!!"

Like this is the Frankenskank girl Anthony Michael Hall and the other kid were really trying to create in Weird Science.

Well, the guy likes his sugar, so you can't blame him for wanting to marry Kool-Aid Man.

If zombies have truly learned to skate, we are totally fucked. My whole zombie avoidance plan involved heading somewhere icy, because you know they'd just be flailing around and whatnot.

@BruschisBrewsky:

I like the orangatan. He is impervious to threats and outside influence.

@Clarence Rosario: Or you can go to [espn360.com] and watch it in crystal clear video. Of course I've seen Roethlisberger's Dick's Sporting Goods commercial 197 times now, but it's still worth it. Unless your cable provider doesn't allow you to get espn360.com....

Really enjoying Ohio St.'s offense here. Two runs for 1 yard, one pass for 9 yards. First down. 12 minutes off clock.

@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH: I suspect it was taken at a basketball game.

Ratner is still scrambling to build his terrible horrible no good very bad basketball arena right in the middle of the busiest intersection in Brooklyn.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: dammit guys

you have nameless internet wanks who think theyre Seth McFarlane.

@ArkansasFred: One half of the Heisman audience will be doing backflips out of laughter while the other half will sit stone-faced, trying to look hard?

I just kind of hang on to the hair real tight and look down at the hair. Sometimes I close my eyes. - Valerie Velardi on her wedding night.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: And to you, my next door neighbor, who doubted I could clean it. It was you who fired my competitive drive to complete such a task. Who's laughing now?

From now on, I'm going back to the "Harder They Come" soundtrack for all my sexual affairs.

You would be wise to endure the ride or else you'll never get a crack at his scorching hot surgeon sister who totally loves sports.

Actually, Carson Palmer is very recognizable, what with that rainy black cloud following him around everywhere.

This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House.

@KenTremendous: Well, nothing lives up to the hype these days anyways. I couldn't have been more excited for that Paul Blart movie, and boy, what a let down.