Can you blame the guy for crying? He really shat the bed in the Wyndham Championship playoff yesterday.

...

I'm pretty sure if you're a minority, the cops actually refer to "jaywalking" as "attempted murder."

Wow. I despise ESPN like nobody's business, but Gruden is fucking awesome on MNF. If only we could have Tirico and Jaws executed.

"Don't forget his profile Ed!"

Meanwhile, the Mets continue to inspire references to the works of Philip Glass.

Saddam Hussein and Richard J. Daley are impressed by your vote tallying.

I dug Deadspin's story, but fuck, these commenters in here seem to love feasting on the remains of a fallen man. I mean, fuck him for trying to turn his life around, right?

"You can't even go to a game there without a bunch of assholes throwing hot dogs at you." - C.K.

The Motor City Cobra

Definitely do not fight mascots with prison tattoo tears.

Now there's a guy who knows how to move some Advil.

@Stev D:

The first step on the road to beating cancer is to not capitalize it.

I haven't seen a Dashiell this agitated since the March 26, 1953 meeting of the House Committee on Un-American Activities.

An unemployed blogger

When pressed to explain their decision to hold back on the Roethlisberger story, ESPN's executive editor John Walsh replied, "While this solution worked, it was fundamentally flawed, creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that, if left unchecked, might threaten the system itself. Ergo, those who…

The NFL Draft - presented by Donaghy Estates sparkling wine.

He added that his great-grandfather Aleister was a "huge supporter of the black arts."

I don't know, somehow I can't see Whitlock handing out free turkeys a la Nino Brown.