Josh, don’t you fucking dare shave that beard.

“I bet I could get a job running Cleveland’s scouting department.”

Shit, I wish Rob Ryan was my stepdad.

I fucking love Arby’s and don’t care who knows it. It doesn’t taste like roast beef, and I don’t even care. Their curly fries are the best fry in the fast food game bar none.

you must be new here, huh?

But he also played over two decades ago, and athletes have evolved to a ridiculous degree since then, with LeBron serving as the ideal 21^st century prototype.

This is what I think about every time Mercury Morris shows up to run his mouth about their perfect season. Most people, given a time machine, would use it to…

How dare you! We wear shirts in Alabama. They’re sleeveless, but we wear them.

New England seems to have a high % of dudes who like to go shirtless. My dad was one and now my stepdad (who’s gotta weigh close to three bills) spends as much time without a shirt as possible. He takes it off almost every time he has to drive somewhere, it’s a little unsettling.

Bridezilla will take my beard off my cold dead face. you can tell your groomsmen / maids what to wear but you ask them to trim, not get rid of, a defining facial feature.

The rest of the dinner was slightly awkward but fuck it, I would’ve been more comfortable if he said he had founded ISIS.

My best friend of 15 years is getting married next month. I’m the best man. His wife informed him that all members of the wedding party need to be clean shaven for the ceremony, no excuses.

*deep breath*

There are some great discussions going on about this topic. I for one can’t fathom the position that removing parts from the car is unethical. If VW wanted only cars in like new condition, they would have stipulated it in the settlement, it’s not like owners are shafting VW for pulling parts from cars that are banned…

Username checks out.

Screen name checks out.

not pictured..

To snatch a knot in his ass, of course.

[Smacks forehead] Buh! I guess my first car as a teen was also in my old man’s name... But it wasn’t a 370Z. This is like giving your todder two buckets of open paint and letting him loose in a newly-remodeled kitchen.

I flipped my Jeep on the way to school one morning. My step-dad took me to school, and my mom had it sold before I got home that afternoon (to the tow truck driver in fact).