Frankly I miss the Weekly World News. If you’re going to just make shit up you might as well go big.

Yeah, but is it carrying a coconut?

What we’re all missing is the grave injustice of Andrew Jackson being forced to relocate by the federal government. He must be very sad...

See, this is annoying because the conversation usually is:

He was a partner in the Houston office of my law firm prior to running for Congress. Despite being largely conservative and Republican, everyone in the office (and the firm, generally) loathed him, so much so that to this day, no one wants to use his former office. It’s considered tainted.