This is not helping my addiction to wearing leotards and singing "Heeethcleeef, eeet's meeeee, yoh Catheeeeeee, I've come hooooome naaaoh."

Black, overweight, sarcastic, cynical, glasses! I gots a BINGO!

That peacock is very...telling.

I don't get enough Mrs. Doyle in my day-to-day! Thanks for that.

I know it's not a popular opinion, but I love Marie.

I love that Dean Norris (Hank) thinks there's something fundamentally wrong with the Team Walt fans. I also just love that Dean Norris.

I'm Team Walter White better get what's coming to him, but not before he administers vengeance to that "Opie dead-eyed piece of shit" Todd and that sniveling coward Lydia. God, I hate her. Listen, if you can't stand to see dead bodies, you don't get to order people killed. Although, I don't think you should as a…

Okay, for the longest time, I've been saying someone needs to liquify Cumberbatch's voice, so that I may shower with it, but I'm beginning to think that I need Hiddleston in my other tap. Stop being sexy, so I'll stop hating my single-hood.

Elizabeth Berkley says her 14-month-old son wasn't in the audience at DWTS because he might get too excited. So excited. And so scared.

Irish comedian Ardal O’Hanlon once did a bit in which...he explained very soberly that the words “fun” and run” should never be used next to each other in a sentence because running is something you do when someone is chasing you with a knife.

Please tell me this season isn't going to be "How Lady Mary Got Her Groove Back." Also, can Edith have some happiness for a change?

That has got to be the cutest story ever! Must hug my dumdums now!

Everyone else said more eloquently than I could about how they'd respect the fuck out of Henry Cavill. I just want to know how I get a "Piggies Rock" cake.

It's okay. He's a training Hemsworth. Once you master him, you get your own Thor Hemsworth. It's like learning to care for a hamster before your mom lets you get a puppy.

I have a Paul Frank t-shirt that says "Pussycow" and it's got a drawing of a cross between a cat and a cow. I guess he grew up in Los Angeles like me.

Wait what? Okay, over him. Back to channeling all my lust to ASkars.

I hated that scene for being such a tease. Much like Gendry in Game of Thrones. Dudes, showing pubes is only making me want to see more. Jerks.

You sound like such a lovely soul and a good person to know, just for that comment.

Ebooks are the best. I spent all last summer in a deep depression that only trashy books like Lace and Valley of the Dolls could get me through and no one was the wiser. "Whatcha readin'?" "War and Peace!"