So yesterday, I go to visit my parents, and my mom starts with "Did you hear about poor Paula Deen?" And my dad starts with "Food Network execs are wimps."

I was looking for a good camp read and I downloaded the free preview. My then-boyfriend and I were reading it to each other with campy voices, and we still couldn't make it past the first chapter. It was so, so bad. Like kidnapped and impersonated the editor bad.

On a side note, I need these shoes. Where are you, shoes? Where?

Oh my god! I was coming to say I got a message from the same username! The ignominy!

I was just thinking this week that I should end my 4-year addiction to the DM, but then they pull me back in with this sidebar item:

Oh that's just mean. You can't post that and make me find Rex Reed (only physically, but still) attractive. Not fair at all.

And happy dances.

Dammit, Lindy West! I was kinda blue about Billy Ray and Tish divorcing after reconciling. I have no idea why, as I've never been a fan. I guess it's because if a couple is willing to try reconciliation, it can be sad if things don't work out. And then you elicit major snorty laughter with "Frowny in the front, weepy…

AHHHHHH I've been to the Magic Castle and it's awesome! I have a pass to get 8 people in. Who's with me?

Don't worry. I'll F you Jeffrey Wright. Why aren't these games ever F/F/F?

When my grandfather was receiving last rites, the priest forgot the Communion wafer, so he constituted a Ritz cracker. Sweet, buttery Jesus.

Oh my god, you're right.

You have just made him sexier in my mind. I have problems.

Let's just hope she doesn't use that awful fake old lady voice she did in Edward Scissorhands. But yes, she looks amazing.

You forgot the "poor Brad" reactions. Absolutely sickening.

Shirtless guys and the occasional man ass are the only things keeping me, at this point.

And I'm sure you're aware of this, but not everyone is, but this, unfortunately, is the one of the results of chronic inbreeding for white tigers.

It wasn't until your post where "Hear the engines roll now" got stuck in my head. Thanks a fucking heap. Sack of monkeys in my pocket, indeed.

As a goyische lover of Klezmer, you, and the wine I consumed, made me laugh out loud.

As a lover of ridiculous corny jokes, I'm co-opting that one. Cracking the fuck up as I type.