Asked how he settled on General McMaster, Trump answered, “McMaster?! Wait! I thought I was nominating General McCheese.”

After some more consideration, I think we ought to replace the lions with the polar bears that are being starved out by the loss of arctic ice due to the global warming that the exploitative rich insist doesn’t exist. It’s only fair.

Funny thing...my family (who are all born again Christians) have the tact NEVER to say this to me. “Corgis, aren’t you glad you’re here with us and not dead in a dumpster?”

I’ve said this for a while now, and I still believe it’s true: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar might be the greatest combination of physical talent and intellect America has ever produced. He is a brilliant man who also just happens to be arguably the greatest American athlete ever. If you’ve never read it, his review of Girls…

Is it just me, or is Trump oranger than normal? Those gold curtains are legit making him look jaundiced.