I guess the syncopated vocal delivery is stylistically reminiscent, but man, I would not award a dime in this case.

As I’ve explained before, predominantly European male gingers have a weird, pale, slightly waxy “botched replicant” look to them.

This. She’s either the unluckiest woman who married the biggest con artist (with the weirdest scheme) of all time (“haha, I’m on the hook for child support now, financially at the very least! GOT YOU! SUCKER!” What?) or she convinced herself that he’d stop staring at his phone and playing with his dick when the baby…

I’m gonna be honest. I don’t hear it at ALL.

Nope. This is all covered in “marry the right person and discuss all this shit before you have kids.”

Seems like it would be hard to stretch “marry the right person and discuss all this shit before you have kids” into an actual book, but hey, she got at least one sucker, so good on her.

What do you mean, “why?”

I’m not sure, but at his age, even a severely sprained ankle could fail to stave off weight gain. We men are not genetically predisposed as a gender to remain slim and fit into our golden years.

You’ve clearly never dealt with or had to confront whatever neuroses or insecurities you harbor (or you’re lucky enough that they don’t run too deep).

I, myself, am I huge proponent of the theory that, as an older man subject to all the metabolic changes men are subject to as they age, he suffered some sort of injury that, serious or not, hampered his ability to keep up his workout regimen, leading to weight gain.

Hey, so, uh, listen. This is gonna sting and you’re not gonna like reading it and you’re gonna hop down to the reply button to call me all sorts of names by the third sentence, but like a lot of truths, you have to hear about it.

If my wife dies before me, I could die this way.

“Kim Jung Orange” 

This. Graham is a sycophant and a shitbird, but he’s been pretty staunchly anti-Trump from the jump. That doesn’t make him a good guy, but I think his personal motivations are pure.

“It’s not clear why Trump made these accusations...”

Pretty much. Trump is president and the GOP have demonstrated that there’s really nothing that he can do or be revealed to have done that will change that.

In addition to being a Debbie Downer, you’re also the Always Right person. Cool!

Everyone got your dumbass point. It’s just a wildly misguided and inappropriate one.

(IrisJK is in the hospital, standing beside her father’s bed)

I feel like you’re completely missing the point of her piece and why she wrote it.