Apparently he was raised by a single mom, which makes his stances even weirder.

I feel bad for anyone that likes Audis; they’re shit cars.

I’m hoping Magic was dumb enough to bring LaVar Ball with.

Hawk indeed is probably dumb enough to think Malnati’s is the best.

Are you saying with a straight face that you would rather hang out with Magic than Thome? 

Why on Earth would anyone care what she has to say? She comes from a family of losers, including a mother that couldn’t even finish a full term as governor because...um...well nobody is really sure honestly.

Yawn. Call me when they use balding men as models; then I’ll be impressed.

Yawn. Call me when they start using balding men as models.

Who says African-American? Even my black friends say "black."

Will you also be pestering the grossly obese or the woman carrying twenty bags that hit each passenger when she passes/sits down?

Yeah really. How many people rob the house next to them, where they would presumably be recognized?

I like when the cat hits the brakes after chasing the dog behind the SUV.