Then how do you explain NBA players being able to dunk without being lit on fire?

he was right to edit you

“Again, it’s all that kind of stuff where we’re more mature than that,” he told reporters. “I know that I personally expect more from us.”

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

Nagy was more pissed that when Long threw the helmet, it bounced off both uprights. 

“Did someone say three legged race?”

Naw, reading about it the coach did “throw” the game, by working suboptimal line ups, limiting Jordan’s minutes and did basically just do it to show that they could lose. Apparently it worked and they just killed the shit out of the NCAA team the next practice.

The ITU cited a rule that penalizes athletes who cook up a “contrived tie situation,”

Sadly, every ship’s mate has sailed.

I wish she’d done that at an And1 gymnastics meet so they could’ve stopped the performance and had the crowd rush the mat with everybody going “OHHHHAAHHHH!!” and the on-floor MC yelling “IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER!! SIT DOWN RUSSELL WESTBROOK!!” and the whole thing dissolving into delirious chaos

Two former Pro Bowlers, Blair Walsh and Sebastian Janikowski, were available though I guess the Vikings were wise to avoid another wide left experience.

I would have ripped that shit off the walls and moved right in. We’re not running scared from these cowards in 2019.

I look forward to watching Jackie Earle Haley portray him in “Bangs And Changs: The Mark Davis Story.”

I can’t remember who coined it but it was definitely a writer who referred to him as a “spray tanned hernia” That’s still a keeper although I hope to one day soon get to refer to Trump as “our big dead president”

Based on what he says, if any of that sweat is on his back he is gonna get deported.

One day about a year ago, I almost hit a rabbit while driving. My 9-year-old daughter said, “It would have been okay, Dad. Bunnies are a renewable resource.”

And the award for longest non sequitur rant goes to this dude!

I'm all for spelling, punctuation, and effective sentence structure.

Listen, Yoda, it’s widely understood that dunking a band member into the core of the Earth is an acceptable alternative to touching the ball down.

Actually Kevin Moen never touches the ball down in the goal area but instead spikes it after crossing the line, so that is no Try.