two things that don’t quite fit the main format, one hilarious and one sappy:

3rd best, Rodon and Lopez better, then the pitching machine, then Giolito.

did the vasectomy not take?

The new Aquaman movie looks fucking terrible.

I don’t know. She didn’t fail. In fact, her goal was to participate in the Olympics and she participated in the Olympics. If this award is ironic, I can’t see how she wins.

Illinois here. I drive up to WI to get drunk and pee in your lakes.

There are things that he could have done better. For starters, they've been unable to develop defensemen because Q sticks to vets and gives them way too much rope. Their power play has been trash the last few years too. Ultimately, he'll be a legend in Chicago hockey. All good things must end though. 

Weird that there are two other writers also named that.

I bet he’s feeling pretty crabby

Truly the darkest timeline.

I think when this many of them pile up, they stop being called ‘Shitty Days’. Now it’s just a shitty plane of existence, with no plausible end in sight. 

...Maybe. (This was Barry’s good idea.)

You aren’t wrong! Go to https://deadspin.com/tag/jon-gruden, and scroll down and right-click on each Gruden image and select “open image in new tab”. Then cycle through those new tabs (ctrl-tab to go through them quickly, in order) and you’ll see how some of the others are more faded than this current one.

Red Red Whine

are you photo-shopping that image to be more red each time it gets posted? I swear...

Jon: When I was a junior in high school I was a convenience store clerk at a truck stop. I had to clean pubes and blood off in the showers.

I was a caddy for 7 years at the local country club. The caddy master was a 40 year old failed golf pro who got a power trip from picking on 13 year old kids. He hated me because my brother was a terrible caddy who would ditch and leave me to deal with the repercussions, which meant that I got the real shit loops.…

That photo should get progressively redder.

Week 10 preview:

he’s all about assists